Overall, life tends to feel like it’s steadily in motion, but sometimes there are chapters where there’s no movement and you can’t help but to feel stuck. Whether it’s in regard to your life plan, your career, your significant other (or lack thereof), or just an idea, it’s very possible to not know what the next step is. This is not a guide on how to get out of a rut or how to feel un-stuck, this is about how to acknowledge and accept feeling stuck, because every phase of life deserves some grace and appreciation.
Before discussing how to accept this feeling, I’ll talk about my personal experience, in hopes that whoever is reading this and feels the same knows that they are not alone.
I’m 23 years old and at the moment, I just feel like my life is stagnant. I feel like most things are unclear and I have no idea when/where/how to look for clarity. One day an idea pops into my head about the next step to take and two days later another one appears and five days later, I end up rejecting all the ideas and start again from ground zero. It doesn’t feel good. It feels tiring and relentless and it honestly shatters my confidence sometimes. I just wish I knew how to get myself to move forward. It sounds so simple, but it’s not. I don’t really compare myself to others, but I know that some other people my age are already married with kids and have their dream job, and I’m just here, without that (don’t get me wrong though – I don’t want those things just yet). Although I have no idea what I’m doing, I do know that it’s unproductive and painful to focus on the negatives. I’ve already acknowledged that I’m feeling stuck in some facets of my life, and instead of focusing on that, I think it’s best that I accept where I’m at. That seems like it’s the only way that will eventually lead me forward.
How To Accept Where You’re At
There’s a few tips I’ve learned from my previous experiences and current experience about how to accept the feeling of being stuck. Here they are:
1. If You’re In Your Teens Or Twenties, You’re Not Supposed To Have It Figured Out
If you’re in your 20’s like me… girl, it’s okay that we don’t know what we’re doing. No one expects us to, and if anyone does, tell them to back off and stop putting pressure on you (kindly, of course). Most people graduate high school AND college having no idea what career they want, how to have that career, where they want to live, when they want to get married and have kids, etc etc. I’ve learned that the best things in life take time or they appear at the most unexpected times. Accept where you’re at and in the back of your mind, remember that the idea, career, person, or plan of your dreams is on it’s way to you, it’s just taking a little extra time because it’s extra good. You’re so young, just breathe.
2. Everything Happens For A Reason
Not everyone believes that everything happens for a reason, but if you do, it’s important to constantly remind yourself that you are here, struggling and stagnant, for a reason. It’s not ideal to be feeling this way, but in a month or a year or five years from now, you are going to look back at this time and realize that you learned some valuable lessons from it that you wouldn’t have learned if you didn’t experience it. Personally, I think that alone is a huge reason to accept where you’re at and let yourself take a breath.
3. You Need The Bad In Order To Have The Good
Bouncing off of the previous concept that everything happens for a reason, I firmly believe that ‘bad’ is necessary in order to have ‘good.’ We wouldn’t know what ‘good’ felt like, or we would be numb to it, if we never felt ‘bad.’ The quote “no rain, no flowers” fully supports this notion. Flowers do not bloom without rain. Arguably, the world’s most beautiful thing does not exist without one of the world’s coldest and messiest things. I mean come on, you’ve gotta believe that. Just remain hopeful and remember that the flowers are right around the corner.
4. It Helps To Do Things That Make You Feel Good
It’s not going to solve your problem of feeling stuck, but doing things that make you feel better will certainly help with your mindset. For example, if you know that you feel better when you have a consistent workout schedule, then abide by that schedule. If your days and moods are better when you read before bed instead of watch TV, then move the remote control away from your nightstand and replace it with a book, gosh dang it! Although these habits will not solve your issues, they can certainly create a domino effect that may lead you to your answers. If you’re doing everything in your power to take care of yourself and maintain a positive mindset, you are so much more likely to think good thoughts, and one of those thoughts may be what you need in order to feel un-stuck.
Takeaway
I think the biggest takeaway from this should be that it’s okay to be where you’re at, as long as you remain hopeful. Feeling stuck and at a stand still is part of the journey that gets you to where you’re going. It’s part of the process. It’s temporary. The previously-mentioned four tips on accepting where you’re at are so helpful and have personally helped me to take a step back, take a deep breath, and understand that it will all work out. Keep the hope alive people!
I hope that after reading this, you will give yourself and your current phase of life some grace and appreciation. You will be okay and what you’re going through will be okay. You’ll figure it out, you’ve done it with all the other challenges that have come into your life thus far, right? There’s no reason to think that what you’re going through right now will work out any differently. You will be okay.
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